Do you wonder what makes you have blink-of-the-eye, intense reactions to your spouse or partner? Do your ever witness yourself or your partner go from zero to bat-zip angry over trivial things? After studying what happens in the stressed brains of couples in conflict, I've created an antidote to reverse what I call psychological allergies, which lead to major relationship problems if left untreated. 21-Day Marriage Transformation is like allergy shots for your relationship. No simplistic relationship advice like "start dating your partner again." No couples therapy to learn each other's "love languages." It's a home-study course that teaches simple but powerful mindfulness skills that are scientifically shown to reboot your brain and help you create the kind of habits that successful couples have.
Research tells us that couples who have high levels of criticism, defensiveness, contempt and conflict are bound to end up separated or divorced, unless they get help. But there is good reason to be hopeful. Simple mindfulness skills can literally change the physical brain structures that cause you to react negatively because of stress, in about three weeks. No new-age-woo-woo. Just science. Mindfulness is the simple act of learning to train your attention on the present moment in a deliberate, non-judgmental manner. There is no chanting "ohhhmmm." No yoga pants. No pan flutes. Nothing woo-woo about it (sorry if you love yoga pants and pan flutes!) None of the stereotypical panache that often goes with meditation is necessary. That’s because you’re born with a mindfulness circuit built-in already. You've been mindful many times in your life—those moments when there is no mental chatter in your head and you feel "in the zone." Without effort, it seems, your actions perfectly match what is needed. But you probably don't feel mindful when your partner is yelling at you. This course delivers a scientifically-based method to increase your ability to be calm, relaxed, and mentally sharper during stressful moments, when you're least likely to feel that way naturally. The result is life-changing.
“I’ve brought my husband to two different couples therapists and a weekend couples retreat….He is a good sport. But nothing got his attention more than the changes he saw in me after I began this course. I never asked him to [do the course] with me, but he ended up asking me what I was doing and could he try it. This was quite a surprise! I feel so much better about myself and feel more hopeful about our relationship.”Concord, NH
“We were fighting a lot and actually separated for a while. We were done with counseling…it just wasn’t helping. My partner got this and did it first without telling me. It started feeling easier to be kinder to each other. Then I started doing [the course] and I understood why it was so helpful to her. It really was a transformation for us, the way we could talk again without having a big blow-out. We’re back together and are moving in the right direction.”Wales, U.K
“I want to share that I have been practicing meditation for more than 25 years and I’ve always sensed that it made me more aware of my feelings and better in my relationships. But I’ve never seen the emotional intelligence piece taught directly like it is [in 21-Day Marriage Transformation]. Very well done. I think there’s a lot of people that need this…good for you making this.”Vancouver, Canada
“My Christian therapist recommended 21-Day Marriage Transformation so I said I’d try it. I’ve always felt uneasy about meditation as a believer (I’m a born-again Christian)….But I bought this because I was having lots of anxiety about the state of things between me and my husband. It was getting bad. I’m so glad I did! This program really has a way of putting you at peace. To me, the fruit of the spirit is the best test for if something is trustworthy. So trust me when I say that Keith is teaching you a way to reach deeply into your soul for healing. Thank you.”Suitland, MD
“My wife and I both did the 21-Day Marriage Transformation at the same time. We did our best to do the exercises on the same days so we’d finish together. She only did the meditations and videos but I really dove into the workbook. Not sure if that’s what other people did but it worked for us perfectly. I’m a therapist and my wife is not….This brought us closer and is really worth it!”Oak Park, IL
“I was so impressed by the animated videos—they really made some things click for both of us. Fun to watch. The fact that there’s multi-media layers really gave us a variety of ways to learn the concepts—that was cool. If you’re new to mindfulness definitely give this a try. It is a great way to learn.”Scottsdale, AZ
These are all good ideas. But how do you make them happen if you’re feeling hurt or isolated in your relationship?